When We Fell Out of Time: The Forgotten Pulse of the Goddess
Most of you know that for years I have lived and breathed astrology, teaching it, reading for others, watching how the planets mirror the evolution of the soul. But this past year, everything I thought I understood about the sky began to unravel. A deep questioning took hold, not only of astrology itself, but of the foundations of time, calendars, and the reality we have agreed to live inside.
That questioning coincided with one of the most powerful transits of my life: Pluto crossing my Aquarius Ascendant. It was a portal that pulled me into the underworld of consciousness and showed me things I could never unsee, about control, illusion, and how we have been taught to forget the natural order that once guided us.
This new series, The Authentic Astrology Journey – Restoring the Living Sky, is my way of walking that path out loud. It is not a set of answers, but an unfolding conversation, a process of remembering what is real, reuniting astrology with nature, and reclaiming the rhythm that lives beneath all the noise.
If you have ever felt that something about time itself does not add up, or that the sky is asking to be seen differently, you are in the right place. Let’s begin.
Through the Pluto Portal
When Pluto crossed my Aquarius Ascendant, everything familiar began to dissolve. It was as if the lights in the hallway of my life suddenly flickered on, revealing rooms I had not known were there. I started to perceive the subtle architecture behind this world, the play of light and dark, the unseen currents shaping human thought and emotion. Even astrology, the sacred language I have studied and taught for years, began to show its shadow, the way celestial patterns can either awaken freedom or be used as tools of manipulation.
That transit took me through an education I could never have found in a book. I learned what darkness actually is, not evil, but information, energy in distortion, asking to be understood. Moving through it changed everything in me. I came out of that underworld initiation with new eyes, determined to understand how consciousness on this planet became so inverted and how we might remember the living sky again. This series, The Authentic Astrology Journey, is the path that began to unfold from that realization.
Remembering When Time Still Danced
As I researched and reflected, I kept coming back to time itself. I discovered that our oldest calendars were not mechanical or mathematical; they were living, lunar, and profoundly feminine. Thirteen moons of roughly twenty-eight days, the same rhythm that moves through the ocean tides and the bodies of women, through birth, death, and renewal. In those early systems, time was a conversation between Earth and sky, a shared heartbeat.
Every ancient culture that honored the Goddess understood this. The Moon was her mirror, waxing and waning through the seasons, reminding humanity that life is cyclical, not linear. Thirteen was her number, the symbol of regeneration, the circle that becomes a spiral, the womb that gives birth again and again.
When I let that truth sink in, something deep inside me relaxed. It felt as though a missing frequency had come back online. No wonder our world feels so fragmented and anxious; we have been living by a rhythm that exiled the feminine pulse of creation. The return of the thirteen is not about a number at all; it is the return of the Goddess herself, the intelligence of flow, intuition, and restoration.
The Moment the Rhythm Was Broken
When I followed the thread through history, I saw where the fracture occurred. As patriarchal empires rose, the fluid rhythm of nature was replaced by systems of order and control. Babylon condensed the lunar year into twelve months. Rome made it law. The Church later sealed it.
By the time Pope Gregory XIII issued the Gregorian reform in 1582, the thirteenth rhythm had been completely removed from public life. The feminine principle, that which could not be measured, predicted, or taxed, was erased from the calendar and quietly renamed misfortune. Friday the 13th became a curse. The thirteenth floor disappeared from buildings. Even the word “lunacy” grew from the old fear of the Moon’s influence.
This deletion was not symbolic; it was physical. When the body’s natural rhythm is replaced by an abstract schedule, we lose the inner dialogue with the Earth. We start to live from intellect rather than intuition, productivity rather than presence. The separation of masculine and feminine became encoded not only in our beliefs but in our clocks. I could feel it in my own nervous system, a subtle hum of tension, as if something essential was always slightly out of tune.
Seeing the Matrix of Time
That realization helped me understand what so many people now mean when they speak of the Matrix. It is not only a film or a metaphor; it is a real field of artificial timing that overlays the living one. When we run on mechanical time, the twelve-month, sixty-minute grid, we move in a pattern that can be predicted, optimized, and monetized. We become efficient but disconnected. Yet the code is not permanent. The moment we begin to sense the missing thirteenth pulse, the system starts to lose its hold.
The Clock That Doesn’t Make Sense
I realize I have always questioned the clock itself, not just its speed, but its logic. Why do we celebrate a “new year” on January 1, in the stillness of winter, when nothing in nature is beginning? The trees are bare, the soil asleep, animals conserving energy. That date was chosen for political convenience, not cosmic alignment.
In the living sky, the year truly turns around March 21, when the Sun crosses the Spring Equinox, equal day and night, the moment life literally returns. You can feel it in the air, in the color of the light, in the body’s quiet readiness to move again.
When we live by calendars that ignore these natural thresholds, our inner compass starts to falter. The body loses contact with the magnetic and seasonal currents that once guided it, and the subtle voice of intuition grows faint. Cut off from that inner guidance, we become easier to steer, more anxious, more reliant on external authorities to tell us what time it is, what is important, what comes next. The further we drift from natural rhythm, the more programmable we become.
Returning to Natural Time
Re-entering harmony with nature is not rebellion; it is remembrance. Aligning with real cycles, light and dark, growth and rest, is how we reclaim sovereignty over our own perception. The body knows when to act and when to be still; the Earth has always known how to keep time. When we listen, we start to feel truth from the inside out, and that is something no system of control can counterfeit.
Even to imagine this is to loosen the grid a little. It reminds us that calendars are agreements, not reality, and that the true measure of time is still humming quietly in the soil beneath our feet.
The Path Ahead
From here, our exploration continues. We will follow the trail of the “missing thirteen” through architecture, constellations, and even the zodiac itself, discovering how every place the feminine was erased still holds the seed of her return.
Thirteen is not a curse. It is the heartbeat of the Goddess, still pulsing beneath the grid. To remember her is to remember ourselves.

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October 15 • 7:00–9:00 PM
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